Letting Go.

I am sitting in a local McDonalds on Campus, and it's past 1 in the morning. I am surrounded by over 40 other college students, and I am just sitting here and taking everything in. In fact, I just had a neat conversation with three random strangers. I've had some of the best conversations with random strangers at McDonald's past midnight. It's about being open and willing to listen. I talked to God on the walk from my dorm room over to McDonald's, and I opened up my laptop, and began typing. I don't have a plan for this post, I don't have a direction of what I want to talk about. I just need write out some of the stuff that is rolling around in mind. So, here it is I guess.

I am sick and tired of trying to make sure that everything in my life is under control. It doesn't work. After time, I begin to realize that everything I think I have under control is slowly falling apart. The world is an inconsistant place, but you know what is always always always consistent? The fact that when I try to make my own plans, on my own wisdom, in my own time, they always always always fail. Recently, I've talked about this with a couple of good friends because it has really been on my heart, and one reference that I keep coming back to is that life isn't like some sports movie, where the coach gives this motivational speech claiming that "we may play these guys ten times, and lost nine, but this could be that one time." No, trying to handle life on our own will result in losing all 10 out of 10 games, every time. And I realize this. I know this, but yet I still try to do things on my own. It makes no sense.

God calls us to cast our worries and our stress on Him. The bible talks about how God is "mighty to save," but how often do we actually let Him save us? I feel like God has really been pulling on my heart recently to just LET GO. To let go of all of the control that I try to have on my life. When I try to do things according to my own power, I limit the power of God in me. I have the Holy Spirit inside my heart, and so often I don't even use it. I turn to my own knowledge or wisdom to try to get me through things. I feel like God is telling me to STEP BACK. To step back and examine my life, but this examination is by the Holy Spirit. What is in my life that I am trying to handle on my own? What am I not giving up completely to God? School? Relationships? Yea probably some of both. God is reaching out His hand, His unfailing hand, and He simply says, "I am enough." He is enough for me.

Sometimes, to actual put the practice of saying that God is enough for us into practice, we have to let go of certain things. We can't claim that we are letting God control our lives, but then keep the few things back that we are still really trying to maintain. It isn't a 90%-10% relationship. NO. Christ calls us and expects us to give Him 100% control. The problem with this is that letting go of things is usually painful and sucks. It is something that we are not very good at. And it is also something that will not happen in a day. I realize that by my very nature, I will still try and control certain aspects of my life. However, I am determined to go throughout my life in a state of surrendering everything. And little by little, I KNOW that God WILL work in my life for good. I KNOW that little by little, I will begin to rely on Him more and more until all that I am is under His control. I am tired of holding back. I am tired of trying to figure things out. God is not and He will not call me to have everything under control or planned out. I call myself to have everything under control. And God's calling is so much HIGHER than any calling I could every give myself.

Life is like a beautifully written poem: there always more layers to it, and some that we will never fully understand. But God doesn't ask that we understand all of the layers. He calls us to surrender UP every layer, every wrinkle, every word to His Glory. When we do this, we are truly SET FREE. We are set free in His mercy, grace, and salvation. What an amazing feeling.

I want to close this blog out with a prayer. This prayer is a combination of some of the things that were said in the morning prayer yesterday at Campus House. I wrote down some of what I prayed, and some of what others prayed. So I guess this is a compilation of prayers? Ya, we'll go with that.

"Lord,

Thank you for your provision and your care for us. We come here today to ask that you would keep our foundation strong for you. That you would burn in our hearts and our minds. That you would be our primary focus and that we would willingly lay down our lives. Please allow us to not get caught up in our business/our constant activities. I thank you for mercy and I thank you for grace. Thank you for the freedom to not have to do everything right. Give us the ability to fully embrace that freedom. Guard our thoughts Lord. We are your children. We thank you for the mystery of the Cross. Humble our hearts. LET OUR CONTROL GO. Teach us what it means to walk in worship, praising you with every step. May we honor the call to live to bring you glory. Teach us to worship the way that you intended us to. Help us to trust and love you in the now Lord. Break us out of this prison of being content. Help the body to communicate your love. BREAK US OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE. We are in state of surrendering everything."

Letting Go,

Signing off,

JD

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Lord, I am in awe of you tonight. You have met me where I am. Your spirit rests on my shoulders and your peace has settled on my heart. Father. I call out to you tonight. This is my desperate plea, God, these words that I am about to say have been rising up from the deepest part of who I am. Lord in Psalm 42:7, there is a phrase that I cannot get off my mind this past week God, and that is "deep calls out to deep." Lord everything you are is deep. God your love knows no bounds and depth cannot even begin to describe your grace because there is no end. You are the alpha and the omega. You were, you are, and you forever will be. The key part of this phrase; however, is that deep calls out to deep. Lord you are forever deep, and you surround us with a passion that goes beyond anything that we have ever known. But how rare is it that we go deep with you God. How rare is it that we allow ourselves to be 100% completely open to your wisdom, to your strength, and to your conviction? That is what tonight is God. This is about pursuing you with a depth that reflects the depth that you show us on a moment by moment basis. Tonight Lord, I am pursuing you at a sprint. I am coming after you because I know the power in prayer. I know that when I pray with expectations, that you answer. Father, tonight is about worship. Tonight, I am daring to look back at the Gaze you have had on my soul since before I was even born. Tonight, I am returning to the Mountain of Zion. Tonight, I am wholly satisfied and still in your presence.

Father, I pray that you would calm my mind and my thoughts Lord. It is so easy to get caught up in the chaos and business of this world. God you are my calm. You are the calm to the seas Lord and by the power of your NAME nations will bow before you. Nations. So who am I to go about my daily life, not relying on that power Lord? Who am I to put my faith in my own accomplishments and talents. Lord you gave me my talents. I am fearfully and wonderfully made in your image God, and that means that I cannot claim anything that you have given me as my own. And you have given us everything. Even down to the last breath God. You are our everything, and yet I am so quick to turn my focus on myself. I am so quick to worry and to freak out about the smallest of things. But the same power that parted the Red Sea, the same power that tore down Jericho, the same power that raised Lazarus from the dead, the same power that tore the Curtain in two on that day at Golgatha, Lord that same power rests inside me, and I don't even think about it. Lord I stray so so far away as to try to handle situations on my own. How does that even make the slightest bit of sense? Why do I do anything without you God. Anything that I do on my own power or on my accord will fail God because it is not of you and it is not with you God. So I pray that I would take of advantage of the power of the Holy Spirit that you have laid inside my heart and in my soul. I pray that I would be bold, to step out of the path of the world, God, and to turn my whole focus directly on your Radiance.

Jesus, I pray tonight that my worship would not be hollow God. Each and every breath that I take, every time that my heart beats or my eyes blink is a testimony to your goodness and your love. But do I ever think about this in the moment? I could even go as far as saying that this probably one of the farthest things that is on my mind at any given second throughout my days. God you call us to worship you, but true worship does not require a building or a certain day. No Father, true worship of you is conducted on the second by second basis. Father allow me to walk with you as Adam once did in the garden God. Allow my feet not to stumble, and guide me with your soft whispers from behind me. One of my favorite song lyrics of all time is: "The art of losing myself in bringing you praise." How true is this tonight God. I lose myself at the foot of your cross. I lay down the burdens that the world or myself have heaped on my back, and I take up the cross and follow you. I understand that when I lose myself for you God, then I am found. I also understand that the world does not understand this point. The world is constantly telling us to find ourselves, to unlock who we really are, to become who we were meant to be. Well, Father, I have found that. Who I am is found in Jesus's blood, and who I am is defined by your salvation God.

I pray tonight God that you would "restore to me the joy of your salvation." Father, how powerful are those words alone. The joy of your salvation. You alone satisfy my heart God. You alone are the reason for my joy. And let it made clear that there is a difference between Joy and Happiness. Joy is everlasting. Be my everlasting Joy God. Help me to realize God that the time to stand up is now. But I dont just stand up Lord. I stand when my knees are bent, awestruck by your Holiness. I stand when I am at my lowest point, when I am weakest, and when you carry me Father. I stand when I have completely surrendered. When there is nothing left in me that is of this world Lord, but there is only you. Then God, then I stand for you. I stand in your power. I stand in your promises God, and I stand in your Glory. I stand in the promise that one day, I will be before You, and You will say, "Well done my good and faithful servant. Welcome Home." I stand Father, because as your Son Jesus hung dying on the cross, he looked forward into these 2000 some years God, just to be able to look me in the eye and "I have done all this for you." And when He cried out "IT IS FINISHED!" He broke every chain that will every bind me to this earth. He broke every shackle that surrounded my heart and kept me from You. He overcame sin and death, just so that we could walk with you Lord.

I pray God that I would satisfied in You and You alone. No longer do I care about what the world says. No longer am I ruled by comparison, or tied down by success and achievement. Father, I live my life for what matters after I leave this place. God, I pray that you would fill me with a boldness; a boldness to be on fire for you and to claim this fire. So many times God you have emblazoned my heart, but I allow that fire to be eventually doused by the world. Not this time Lord. Your fire burns so bright within my soul tonight God that no power of Hell or scheme of man could ever put it out. And this fire is not something that I could ever contain nor is it something that is meant to be. Spill outward from me Father. Singe the people that are around me God. Start a revival here on Purdue's Campus. I pray that Purdue would be a flame for your Glory Christ. That you would be at the center of everything that we do. Help me to realize Father that my identity is not in what I achieve, rather it is is what you have achieved for me God.

Father, with prayer like this, we know that there will be battles. We know that just as you are at work in our everyday lives God that the enemy is also at work. You are my preparation for the battles God, and your word is my sword. I pray that Your word would rest in my heart and on my mind. I pray that I would take up the armor of God, that I would be clothed in the Armor of Light God, because I daily feel the attacks of the enemy. God my prayer for this is two-fold. First Lord I pray that I would be able to discern these attacks. That I would be able to recognize when Satan and his demons are whispering into my soul God. Provide me a sense of wisdom and spiritual clarity to see through the deception. Secondly, I pray that I would act on this spiritual clarity Lord. I pray that I would not only recognize the works of the Father of Lies, but that I woud "Be still, and know that you are God," in those times. That I would know that you are above all and that you will always be there. With this mindset God, I pray that I would realize the true power behind the phrase, "what can man do to me?"

God, I thank you for all of the incredible ways that you have blessed my life. I cannot praise you enough for the wonderful opportunities that you give me on a daily basis, whether through relationships, school classes, or just random conversations. I pray that you would continue to speak through me Father. Some of the most intimate times that I have shared with you God is when you speak through me to other people. Half the time I do not even know what I am saying, but you are actually speaking through me. Continue to reveal Yourself in this way. Continue to guide me and to continue to watch over me in everything that I do. Thank you for answering this prayer.

"I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned,

in awe of the one who gave it all.

I'll stand, my soul Lord to you surrendered,

all I am is yours."

They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love,

Signing off,

JD

Behind

courtesy of:

this place

I got the inspiration to write this blogpost from a line during service at church today. I heard it, and I was expecting our pastor to kinda follow up on what he just said, but instead he switched topics and continued the sermon. But that one statement stood out to me, and its been on my mind since then. I want to set up a little bit of the background and then I'll get to the main idea/question. To point out, I will paraphrase a lot of what was said in service today, so if you were there, skip down to where I begin discussing the main idea (I'll put the skip forward point in big capital letters).

So if you are any sort of a fanatic of painting, or if you just kinda like painting, or even if you don't like painting whatsoever, you still have probably heard of the Mona Lisa. It is considered to be one of if not the most valuable paintings of all time. I would venture to say that most everyone knows that the Mona Lisa is kept in the Louvre, which is in Paris, France. Every year, no every day, thousands of tourists flock to this painting, this timeless piece of history, just to get a glimpse. The room that holds the Mona Lisa is almost always crowded, but one thing that we almost never hear about is the painting on the other wall of the Mona Lisa. Actually, this is the painting:

Marriage at Cana

Pretty sweet right? Not to mention the fact that its like 20 by 30 feet or something like that. Our pastor went on to talk about how the architect who designed the room to be like the way it is, with the Mona Lisa on one side, and the Marriage at Cana on the opposite wall, gave this reason for the design:

"I wanted people to have to turn their backs on one of the paintings in order to really be able to see the other."

SKIP FORWARD POINT

So, I will repost the last line because it was what really stuck with me after church and pretty much throughout this whole day.

"I wanted people to have to turn their backs on one of the paintings in order to really be able to see the other."

When I heard this, I instantly thought about Christ. This quote isn't really about paintings. It's a perfect way to sum up the gospel message. Christ constantly reminds us of truths such as : "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." In reality, in our lives, Christ is on one side of the room and the world is on the opposite wall. What we need to realize right now is that it is impossible to see both.

Okay, obviously it is not impossible. One could argue that you could do a sideways stance and see both at the same time. And I would argue that even then, you can't see both walls at the same time. At least not fully. However, this sideways "stance" is exactly what so many Christians do on a daily basis. We as Christians have become content in living this lifestyle that gives glory to God, while also making sure that we entertain certain notions of this world. We have to be comfortable, we have to be considered people of good standing, we have reputations to uphold, and jobs to keep. We have meetings to go to and people that are counting on us. Sooner or later, we find ourselves playing this game of head turning, wanting to look to God, but always turning back to make sure that everything is "in order" with the painting of the world.

I want to point out two really convicting ideas that this quote sparked in my heart, and then I will wrap up with a bit of scripture. The first idea is the idea of the painting of the world. I was having lunch with my roommate and discussing this very idea, and he made a really neat point. He said that if the world was a painting or an "image," that it would be a mirror. The more I thought about this, the more I realized that he was dead on. The world is just one big mirror, constantly telling us and showing us that we need to be more focused on ourselves. The world is so quick to point out the ways that we need to improve, or the ways that we need to change ourselves to match up with it's definitions. The world is a comparative place. You either make the cut or you don't. When you look in the mirror, you either change to keep up or you stay the same and become an outcast. How powerful is a simple mirror. Let me ask you a question. When is the last time that you walked by a mirror and didn't look at it. I am not talking about standing in front of it and examining every last pore on your face. But what I am talking about is the slightest bit of a glance. That little bit of shifting eyes; that one split second when you catch yourself looking back. We are so drawn by the power of self comparison, of judgement, and of criticism that we almost cant even help but look in the mirror of the world. What we fail to realize is that on the opposite wall, there is an painting that is so much more powerful that any mirror could ever be. That painting is of two wooden beams, shaped like a cross. The perfect demonstration of love.


The second convicting idea that I can't really shake is the thought that when we stand straddling the line between God and the world, we only really see the cross from one side or one angle. Bear with me here. If we are constantly turning our head back and forth from God to the world, we only ever really see the cross as something we need. We realize that without the cross, there is no other painting, but we aren't willing to stand right in front of it and lay ourselves down. With our head swiveling back and forth, we never see the cross for what it is really is, and that is the amazing, perfect and totally UNDESERVED love of Christ. The cross is not only our salvation, it is our power. By the cross Christ conquered over death. By the cross Christ abolished all of our sin, and on the cross, He laid down his life so that one day, you and I could have the chance to do the same. Don't we get it? The cross is the reason we exist, the reason we breathe, the reason we love, laugh, think, pray, hope, dream, and live. The cross isn't just something we need to keep our Christian fasod . IT IS EVERYTHING THAT WE NEED TO LIVE ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS.

So tonight, I am asking you the question that has been on my heart all day long, and that will probably sit and jab at me until I can honestly answer it. Am I willing to turn my back on the world, to look fully in the face of Christ and all of His Glory? Am I willing to turn my back to the mirrors, in order to reflect the one true image of grace and love. Am I willing to make a stand in the middle of the room, just to be able to kneel before the cross, in complete surrender to the one true God. I hope that some of these questions speak to you with the same magnitude that they are speaking to me. And I pray that you don't put this off, because the Kingdom of God is at hand. It is right now. It is you and me.

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other."

Matthew 6:24

They'll know we are Christians By Our Love,

Signing off,

JD