I am sick and tired of trying to make sure that everything in my life is under control. It doesn't work. After time, I begin to realize that everything I think I have under control is slowly falling apart. The world is an inconsistant place, but you know what is always always always consistent? The fact that when I try to make my own plans, on my own wisdom, in my own time, they always always always fail. Recently, I've talked about this with a couple of good friends because it has really been on my heart, and one reference that I keep coming back to is that life isn't like some sports movie, where the coach gives this motivational speech claiming that "we may play these guys ten times, and lost nine, but this could be that one time." No, trying to handle life on our own will result in losing all 10 out of 10 games, every time. And I realize this. I know this, but yet I still try to do things on my own. It makes no sense.
God calls us to cast our worries and our stress on Him. The bible talks about how God is "mighty to save," but how often do we actually let Him save us? I feel like God has really been pulling on my heart recently to just LET GO. To let go of all of the control that I try to have on my life. When I try to do things according to my own power, I limit the power of God in me. I have the Holy Spirit inside my heart, and so often I don't even use it. I turn to my own knowledge or wisdom to try to get me through things. I feel like God is telling me to STEP BACK. To step back and examine my life, but this examination is by the Holy Spirit. What is in my life that I am trying to handle on my own? What am I not giving up completely to God? School? Relationships? Yea probably some of both. God is reaching out His hand, His unfailing hand, and He simply says, "I am enough." He is enough for me.
Sometimes, to actual put the practice of saying that God is enough for us into practice, we have to let go of certain things. We can't claim that we are letting God control our lives, but then keep the few things back that we are still really trying to maintain. It isn't a 90%-10% relationship. NO. Christ calls us and expects us to give Him 100% control. The problem with this is that letting go of things is usually painful and sucks. It is something that we are not very good at. And it is also something that will not happen in a day. I realize that by my very nature, I will still try and control certain aspects of my life. However, I am determined to go throughout my life in a state of surrendering everything. And little by little, I KNOW that God WILL work in my life for good. I KNOW that little by little, I will begin to rely on Him more and more until all that I am is under His control. I am tired of holding back. I am tired of trying to figure things out. God is not and He will not call me to have everything under control or planned out. I call myself to have everything under control. And God's calling is so much HIGHER than any calling I could every give myself.
Life is like a beautifully written poem: there always more layers to it, and some that we will never fully understand. But God doesn't ask that we understand all of the layers. He calls us to surrender UP every layer, every wrinkle, every word to His Glory. When we do this, we are truly SET FREE. We are set free in His mercy, grace, and salvation. What an amazing feeling.
I want to close this blog out with a prayer. This prayer is a combination of some of the things that were said in the morning prayer yesterday at Campus House. I wrote down some of what I prayed, and some of what others prayed. So I guess this is a compilation of prayers? Ya, we'll go with that.
"Lord,
Thank you for your provision and your care for us. We come here today to ask that you would keep our foundation strong for you. That you would burn in our hearts and our minds. That you would be our primary focus and that we would willingly lay down our lives. Please allow us to not get caught up in our business/our constant activities. I thank you for mercy and I thank you for grace. Thank you for the freedom to not have to do everything right. Give us the ability to fully embrace that freedom. Guard our thoughts Lord. We are your children. We thank you for the mystery of the Cross. Humble our hearts. LET OUR CONTROL GO. Teach us what it means to walk in worship, praising you with every step. May we honor the call to live to bring you glory. Teach us to worship the way that you intended us to. Help us to trust and love you in the now Lord. Break us out of this prison of being content. Help the body to communicate your love. BREAK US OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE. We are in state of surrendering everything."
Letting Go,
Signing off,
JD
Beautiful.
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